life (in general)

My Worst Nightmare…

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My worst nightmare realized today, when I looked above my bed. Those are my pillows. That is where I lay my head at night. That is a spider. A big spider. A spider that could easily fall on to my head while I’m sleeping. Or onto my face. Or into my mouth. Or get tangled in my hair. My worst nightmare realized. You can bet I’ll be checking and double checking the wall above my pillows each night, and the ceilings and the surrounding walls.
I won’t even tell you the rest of the story–of how I tried to kill it with a flyswatter and how it fell to the pillow, then somewhere behind my bed. And how I ripped my bed out from the wall searching desperately for the spider corpse. Which I finally found. But I know spiders. I know they play dead all the time–all shriveled up, folded legs…all dead looking. And when you walk away, they unfold their little furry legs and scurry away. So I made sure he was dead. I squished him with the metal handle of the swatter. But his wrinkled spider corpse is still there behind my bed. Just below the place where I lay my head, where I seek peace and solace each night. I still feel like he may come back. He may reappear and seek revenge. I won’t believe he’s really gone until I somehow convince my husband to pick him up in a little ball of toilet paper which I’ll watch go swirling down the toilet and out of the house and into the sea somewhere. Then I’ll really believe he’s gone. But then I wonder if his spider friends will be upset and haunt me–the one who took this little hairy life and flushed it down the toilet.  I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and there will be not just one, but five spiders dangling precariously on the wall above my head–watching me, contemplating my breathing. Deciding how to repay me for the loss of spider life.

Img_3621

My worst nightmare realized today, when I looked above my bed. Those are my pillows. That is where I lay my head at night. That is a spider. A big spider. A spider that could easily fall on to my head while I’m sleeping. Or onto my face. Or into my mouth. Or get tangled in my hair. My worst nightmare realized. You can bet I’ll be checking and double checking the wall above my pillows each night, and the ceilings and the surrounding walls.
I won’t even tell you the rest of the story–of how I tried to kill it with a flyswatter and how it fell to the pillow, then somewhere behind my bed. And how I ripped my bed out from the wall searching desperately for the spider corpse. Which I finally found. But I know spiders. I know they play dead all the time–all shriveled up, folded legs…all dead looking. And when you walk away, they unfold their little furry legs and scurry away. So I made sure he was dead. I squished him with the metal handle of the swatter. But his wrinkled spider corpse is still there behind my bed. Just below the place where I lay my head, where I seek peace and solace each night. I still feel like he may come back. He may reappear and seek revenge. I won’t believe he’s really gone until I somehow convince my husband to pick him up in a little ball of toilet paper which I’ll watch go swirling down the toilet and out of the house and into the sea somewhere. Then I’ll really believe he’s gone. But then I wonder if his spider friends will be upset and haunt me–the one who took this little hairy life and flushed it down the toilet.  I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and there will be not just one, but five spiders dangling precariously on the wall above my head–watching me, contemplating my breathing. Deciding how to repay me for the loss of spider life.

15 comments on “My Worst Nightmare…”

  1. That is too funny! O.K., not funny as in I’m laughing at you- funny as in I do the nightly “spider check” before I go to bed too and for just the reasons you describe. I like spiders- when they are outside!

  2. We get spiders like that too, they come in from the ivy planted outside our window. I hate them because they’re huge and I feel bad killing them but oh my gosh I don’t want them in the house!

  3. LOL………I don’t much like spiders either. From that picture it looks like a wolf spider and boy can the move at the speed of light!!!I read the other comments, & I’m not moving to Australia..lol

  4. I still think I have a 7 legged spider lurking under my bed.. but he should have known better than to crawl on me in the middle of the night.. then try to hide under my pillow.. grrrr.

  5. Too funny Molly. I have a bit of an icky worry about spiders being in my bed, but thankfully I’ve never seem that worry come true (yet). In Seattle, there are so many spiders I’ve relaxed around the subject… a little. One day I’ll tell you the bat story that Peter and I can still barely talk about without wincing. Ewwwwww.

  6. omg…I about died and literally let out a *gasp* and a cringe when I saw that photo! I HATE spiders..I”m terrifed. terrified most of them getting on me in my sleep. contrats to you for killing it! and I totally get everything you just posted about. i’m with ya.

    …i’ll probably now be checking my bed and walls and floors every night once again..in honor of your post. lol.

    .♥.

  7. Don’t move to Texas either. I don’t mind the spiders actually, it is the tree roaches that make me scream involuntarily. They are 2 inches long not counting legs and antennea. Thank God our cats like to help get them.

  8. leave his spidery carcass there as a sentinel, a warning to all the other spiders that they best not dare come near you, your bed, your pillow, your wall, your anything. warn them to remain in the rafters doing their job of eating bad bugs and other little creatures that you also don’t want to see.i’ve been through the same scary situation – even woke up a few times convinced they were hanging above me about to descend. but then i heard that dreams of spiders mean money is coming your way, so now i sleep better. if not richer. 🙂

  9. We are in a constant battle with spiders here, and yes I have had then crawl across me in the middle of the night. John thinks I’m imagining it, but I AM NOT. It’s terrible, I feel for you. I hope that his spider posse leaves you alone!

  10. Oh no! You killed Spidey! He was my buddy when I used to live there. He usually stayed in the bathroom – mostly over the tub. I think he liked it where there was a little moisture. I guess he has gotten bolder in his old age migrating to the bedroom. Poor Spidey. It’s my fault, I guess, because I forgot to introduce you to him. Oh my!Love,Dad- In mourning for my old friend –

  11. Yikes! Now i’m going to be checking my bed every night too. This is why I hate our basement, BIG, HAIRY SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!

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