family / life (in general) / LIVING WELL / MOTHERHOOD

focus on the positive

a bedroom corner

Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table with the windows open and I overheard Dan outside talking to the girls. He was asking who had left certain things out from yesterday, why there was a set of my cups in the backyard, had someone watered the boxwoods, etc. etc. While he talked to the girls I winced, knowing that these were things I hadn't gotten to today. But I also thought, "Did you notice that I sorted through FOUR tubs of baby clothes in the guest room, got three loads of laundry done, and all the books returned to the library?"

I share this little snippet of our life not at all to imply that my husband is some grumpy, ungrateful man that comes home grumbling and complaining about all the things that didn't get accomplished that day. Because that is so far from reality. And even in this overheard moment he was more asking questions versus laying blame.

I share this story because I realized as I was overhearing Dan that he sounded a lot like me.

All too often, I walk into a situation, whether it be with Dan or with the girls, and completely miss the important stuff. I find all my focus and attention and words drawn to the negatives–the mess I'll be cleaning later, instead of the amazing creative play that is going on in their room, stripped of all bed sheets, pillows and blankets. The chaos of loud laughing and running through the house, instead of the joy of my children having fun together. The annoyance of my oldest daughter wanting to help with her baby sister's bath instead of seeing how much she loves taking care of Elizabeth.

I often do it when I return to the house after a solo outing and Dan stays with the girls. "Couldn't you have at least cleared the dishes from the kitchen table?!" Instead of noticing that he has all three girls sitting on his lap on the sofa reading picture books.

Really what is most important? A good reminder for me tonight.

The picture is a quick shot of our bedroom corner with the new headboard finally painted and in place. Can I tell you how much I love having a headboard? And how much I love seeing the handiwork of my husband all over the house? The bedside table, also his work–made for me as a birthday gift several years ago. The date and year are written on the inside of the drawer.

a bedroom corner

Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table with the windows open and I overheard Dan outside talking to the girls. He was asking who had left certain things out from yesterday, why there was a set of my cups in the backyard, had someone watered the boxwoods, etc. etc. While he talked to the girls I winced, knowing that these were things I hadn't gotten to today. But I also thought, "Did you notice that I sorted through FOUR tubs of baby clothes in the guest room, got three loads of laundry done, and all the books returned to the library?"

I share this little snippet of our life not at all to imply that my husband is some grumpy, ungrateful man that comes home grumbling and complaining about all the things that didn't get accomplished that day. Because that is so far from reality. And even in this overheard moment he was more asking questions versus laying blame.

I share this story because I realized as I was overhearing Dan that he sounded a lot like me.

All too often, I walk into a situation, whether it be with Dan or with the girls, and completely miss the important stuff. I find all my focus and attention and words drawn to the negatives–the mess I'll be cleaning later, instead of the amazing creative play that is going on in their room, stripped of all bed sheets, pillows and blankets. The chaos of loud laughing and running through the house, instead of the joy of my children having fun together. The annoyance of my oldest daughter wanting to help with her baby sister's bath instead of seeing how much she loves taking care of Elizabeth.

I often do it when I return to the house after a solo outing and Dan stays with the girls. "Couldn't you have at least cleared the dishes from the kitchen table?!" Instead of noticing that he has all three girls sitting on his lap on the sofa reading picture books.

Really what is most important? A good reminder for me tonight.

The picture is a quick shot of our bedroom corner with the new headboard finally painted and in place. Can I tell you how much I love having a headboard? And how much I love seeing the handiwork of my husband all over the house? The bedside table, also his work–made for me as a birthday gift several years ago. The date and year are written on the inside of the drawer.

37 comments on “focus on the positive”

  1. that is so true for me as well. thanks for the reminder.

    i love your little bedroom corner. the headboard and nightstand are great. oh! and i think i have the bottom sheet to your pillow cases. bought it for a buck at a flea market…

  2. I have tears in my eyes right now because I’ve taken a brief moment to reflect on the realities of me as a mother. . . I miss many, too many, of the great moments I have with my children.Your post is so helpful to me tonight. Tomorrow I’m sure I will think about it often as I try a little harder to enjoy my children and the precious moments rather than letting the positive slip away. Thanks for your post, again.

  3. Thanks Molly… I needed that reminder tonight, too!xox,LinneaP.S. Your headboard and bedside table are really pretty. So cozy looking. What great gifts. Your husband is very talented!

  4. It’s so hard to be a mom- a parent of any sort- and be responsible for so much. I think that the mental punch list of things to do can so easily steal the joy of daily life and children. I’ve been trying to be more mindful of the little joys lately. Thanks for sharing your journey. xo

  5. You captured many of my own feelings with your story. I’m going to look for the important things today. Thanks for sharing.

    Beautiful bed table and headboard!

  6. good one girl. I appreciated that. I would ask you a favor- would you pop over to my site or http://www.designmom.com and check out the auction we are hosting for a blogger who was in a terrible accident with her husband. I only ask bc you have a lot of good hearted readers. We are trying hard to make a difference today. Tell everyone you know. Please? xo Amy

  7. Thanks for a good reminder to focus on the positive. I too often sigh a big annoyed sigh when I walk into a room and miss the important things and focus on the negative. Thank you! I needed this today.

  8. After my day yesterday, and my reaction to my husband right after this day, this is just what I needed to hear! And I will henceforth (until I forget again) be a better wife and mother. Thank U.

  9. cant type cause of my blurry tears! oh that is me and my life. i have a handi husband who is softer with the kids than me and i still find fault with something. everyday i pray for more patience but your words have inspired me to be different when we are all together this afternoon. i feel a change coming on!! thanks for a great blog xx rosey

  10. Just followed a link from Domesticali. I know exactly what you mean – it’s hard to hear the sound of your own voice sometimes. What stops and makes me think sometimes is when my daughter takes the same kind of tone with me!

  11. This sounds exactly like my family life. My sister said to me that her and her partner expect NOTHING from each other and when they do something it’s a bonus. I’ve heard comments like that from other friends too. I desperately want to be the kind of person who is in complete control of her surroundings and sometimes I see myself getting cross with my husband because the spare room is STILL full of boxes from when he moved into the house 10 years ago. However, he has built a workshop from brick and stone, a driveway, a patio, a sunken garden, a vegetable plot, and is half way through a conservatory. Focus on the positive! I agree!

  12. The corner looks wonderful. Yes I do fall into this myself where I am not seeing the beauty or special moment in something, instead I see what I think should have or I wanted to be done. So I do need to step back and just taken in the beauty that is there also.

  13. I can relate to this. every word. Also, thanks so much for the link to ‘save mr. rogers’. I hadn’t heard that to date and immediately went to work adding it to my sidebar and my facebook page as well. so important.

  14. hello, what a lovely headboard, i have been waiting for the photo like christmas!!!. great post, i am not speaking to my “other” because i think he is an idiot, but actually i need to take a step back an look at the bigger picture, it is a stormy day here probably a good one for sorting things out. Thanks for a great read as alwaysregards Catherine (UK)

  15. Thought you would get a laugh out of knowing that I have pillows on my couch made out sheets that match your pillow cases. I just love that pattern. I think I have enough around for a pillow case dress at some point…

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