MommyCoddle

I’m sitting at my desk this morning as I write this, with the door open behind me. The morning sun feels warm on my back and towel-dried hair, noisy Canada Geese just flew by, and I keep getting wiffs of the burn pile that’s still smoldering down in the orchard. Its definitely fall around here. These sights and sounds around me tell me it’s true.

Yesterday Emma and I finally broke down and carved two of the pumpkins that have been perched on our porch. For the last few years, my method of carving has involved my husband’s power drill, but this year, at hte influence of Emma, we were much more traditional. She designed the faces, which I told her to keep simple, and then we carved them out. She definitely kept them simple. (and I’m still going to get some polka-dotted pumpkins out on my porch before the season ends.)

Last night I made Sour Cream Apple Pie, a recipe that alicia posted about a few weeks ago. It was so yummy and so incredibly easy. Good warm with a little drop of ice cream.

And I’ve been neglecting my sewing machine lately for my knitting needles. I’ve put down the one-button swingcoat and picked up a pattern for a baby sweater from this book by Erika Knight. I don’t know why I haven’t just broken down and purchased this book. I love almost every pattern in it. And I think I’m the only person that ever checks it out of the library….although I probably don’t give other patrons the chance, really. I’m making a raglan sweater with three little buttons across the shoulder. The pattern calls for embroidery designs all over the sweater when you’re finished….but I’ll probably wait to see what is growing inside me and then decide how I’ll finish it.
I’m just really drawn to my knitting lately. It is so easy to pick up, I can take it anywhere and I find it extrememly relaxing. Not to mention it doesn’t require cutting and pinning and measuring, and clearing off my desk to make a space for the sewing machine….

And with all this knitting going on, Emma has been begging  that I teach her. I’ve really been avoiding it, because I’m pretty sure she’ll just get frustrated. I’ve been giving her excuses like, "I have to find my big needles" or "I have to get some good yarn for you to start with". But a few days ago she cornered me with yarn and chubby needles, so the lessons began.

She can talk her way through all the steps, its just making her fingers do what her mind understands that is hard. It ends up being a bit of tag-team knitting, really.

I must pull away from this post now. I should have answered the well-known call of the chair being dragged across the kitchen floor, because my youngest just appeared around the corner –naked, with a face full of peanut butter. At least it wasn’t nutella….

I’ve learned a thing or two about small-scale bravery these last few weeks. My morning wake-up call is a bag of frozen peas to the belly, a swab of alcohol, a syringe and a prick. I do my best to take the burning in stride, but I’m not ashamed to admit there have been more than a few mornings of tears, even with lots of support from my family and the health care system and the Functional Medicine Associates.
But the evening shot experience is a bit different. It’s a family affair. Mary at my forehead, stroking my hair, “be ‘bwave’, mommy”; Emma sitting at my side holding my hand, sympathetically mirroring my grimaces and contortions while the burning medicine slides in under my skin.
Suddenly, in a moment, the roles have changed. I’m the child being coaxed into bravery and calm by my children who clench their teeth alongside me and whisper encouraging words in my ear.  They’ve watched these shots so closely that they can reenact every step of the process. In fact, they act it out together on occasion: Mary with a mock bag of peas on her belly, emma with her swab of alcohol. Pinch, blow. One, two three, prick. Hold it. Hold it. Great job. Ice again.

These shots suck. There’s no way around it. But in some odd way, having my children gathered around me, being brave and strong for me, makes it all worthwhile. If given the opportunity, I don’t think I’d trade in the shots and risk losing these moments.
I’m not always sure what my girls are learning from this. Perhaps, that their mommy is a weakling, or that she cries a lot or makes funny noises when she’s in pain.

But I hope that I’m teaching them how to be brave in the midst of a little discomfort. And even more so, I’m proud that they are learning the all-important art of comforting. They are fantastic at it. There is something precious about being comforted by your children. A fragile moment where you just want to hold your breath and hope it doesn’t slip away too quickly.

The picture above, although blurry and taken in unnatural light is my view during these moments: a strong little hand to hold, a bag of peas under a dishtowel, and a smiley face sticker awarded to me for a job well done. 

And I still don’t know who’s braver—me or them.

On Saturday afternoon the rain paused long enough for Dan, the girls and me to go out for an evening sail on the Chesapeake Bay with my Dad.

It’s the first time I’ve been on his boat since before I was married. This time was a bit different–keeping two wee ones happy and safe instead of those carefree younger days of dangling my legs over the sides and watching the occasional blue crab float by in the waves.

I definitely spent too much time below deck, which was a bit hard on my pregnant "woozieness".The girls found it more fun to take naps in "their" beds below, than wander around on the deck.

  But all in all, it was a wonderful evening out on the water. More sailing shots here.

I also finally cranked up the sewing machine again yesterday. I’ve been meaning to hang these baskets from IKEA for awhile now, but hadn’t found the right spot. Then it hit me yesterday that they would make a great place for the mess of mittens and hats this fall and winter. Of course they were a little too blah, so I added a little detail–a basket for each of the girls and an extra big pocket for the oh-so-exciting bills and mail.

FYI: I got these hanging baskets at IKEA about two months ago for only $9.99. Not a bad deal, for a little organization.