family / home / life (in general)

together

P1010016

Every once in awhile, a person has to step back and evaluate….whether you’re evaluating the layout of a room, how you spend your time, how you parent, where your money goes, how you’re investing in important relationships, etc.
This weekend Dan and I had some good talks about our time, our family, our relationship. It’s hard sometimes to balance all that needs and wants to be done and still carve out time for your spouse. Sometimes, it’s just not possible. But  noticed lately that I often live this parallel, tag team life with my husband, especially on the weekends. It’s like this: "you watch the kids while I mow and weed-whack around the fences." Then, quickly, now, "SWITCH! You put the girls down for naps while I run to the grocery store and make a pass through the farmers’ market." And oftentimes, we don’t ‘meet up’ until the end of the day, when we’re both tired and worn out from getting the ‘must-do list’ done. And lately, it’s been driving me crazy. I feel like those tag-team WWF wrestlers, who smack hands as they swap places–one jumps out of the ring while the other squeezes between the ropes back into the mix of things.

Dan and I both love to be together. And as much as we love being together, we love being together as a family, too. So this weekend we talked about embracing the everyday– finding ways to be together doing the everyday things that need to be done. If the garden needs to be weeded, then let’s all go out there together and knock it out. If the dishes need to be washed after dinner, then let’s put the girls to bed and enjoy doing it together.

P1010006_2

Now of course, we won’t be holding hands and moving through all of life’s chores together. Some things still need to be done–I don’t intend to walk along beside Dan while he weed-eats around the fence posts. And I still prefer zipping through the grocery store by myself vs. dragging all the children with me. But there are still many things that we do each day, each weekend, that could be done together. They might not be accomplished as quickly or efficiently, but that’s not always what it’s about.

P1010024

So we ‘kicked it off’ Sunday with a project Dan has been wanting to work on–mapping out some of the trees and woody plants around the farm. We gathered our field guides (this one I highly recommend), notebook, camera and headed out. I much preferred it this way. And even though the girls started melting in the afternoon heat and humidity, and a sassy (overtired) child intentionally dumped the bucket of leaves that we had been carefully saving…it was okay. We both kind of looked at each other like, "We tried. It was worth it. Let’s go swimming."

Guides

The_map

And it felt good. It’s nice to come to the end of the day knowing you’ve spent time together with each other and as a family. There’s a contentment and peace in that. A feeling like you’ve ‘checked in’ with each other and all is good and right.

P1010016

Every once in awhile, a person has to step back and evaluate….whether you’re evaluating the layout of a room, how you spend your time, how you parent, where your money goes, how you’re investing in important relationships, etc.
This weekend Dan and I had some good talks about our time, our family, our relationship. It’s hard sometimes to balance all that needs and wants to be done and still carve out time for your spouse. Sometimes, it’s just not possible. But  noticed lately that I often live this parallel, tag team life with my husband, especially on the weekends. It’s like this: "you watch the kids while I mow and weed-whack around the fences." Then, quickly, now, "SWITCH! You put the girls down for naps while I run to the grocery store and make a pass through the farmers’ market." And oftentimes, we don’t ‘meet up’ until the end of the day, when we’re both tired and worn out from getting the ‘must-do list’ done. And lately, it’s been driving me crazy. I feel like those tag-team WWF wrestlers, who smack hands as they swap places–one jumps out of the ring while the other squeezes between the ropes back into the mix of things.

Dan and I both love to be together. And as much as we love being together, we love being together as a family, too. So this weekend we talked about embracing the everyday– finding ways to be together doing the everyday things that need to be done. If the garden needs to be weeded, then let’s all go out there together and knock it out. If the dishes need to be washed after dinner, then let’s put the girls to bed and enjoy doing it together.

P1010006_2

Now of course, we won’t be holding hands and moving through all of life’s chores together. Some things still need to be done–I don’t intend to walk along beside Dan while he weed-eats around the fence posts. And I still prefer zipping through the grocery store by myself vs. dragging all the children with me. But there are still many things that we do each day, each weekend, that could be done together. They might not be accomplished as quickly or efficiently, but that’s not always what it’s about.

P1010024

So we ‘kicked it off’ Sunday with a project Dan has been wanting to work on–mapping out some of the trees and woody plants around the farm. We gathered our field guides (this one I highly recommend), notebook, camera and headed out. I much preferred it this way. And even though the girls started melting in the afternoon heat and humidity, and a sassy (overtired) child intentionally dumped the bucket of leaves that we had been carefully saving…it was okay. We both kind of looked at each other like, "We tried. It was worth it. Let’s go swimming."

Guides

The_map

And it felt good. It’s nice to come to the end of the day knowing you’ve spent time together with each other and as a family. There’s a contentment and peace in that. A feeling like you’ve ‘checked in’ with each other and all is good and right.

22 comments on “together”

  1. I was just noticing we’re starting to do that tag teaming too. me with the baby, my husband with the toddler then switch. we need to work on our integration 🙂

  2. This post hit very very close to the bone. I think the hubs feels it more than I do, but I need to remember it. Thank you for the reminder.

  3. oh yes, playing tag is not my favorite game- sometimes there is no way around it. I am so glad that we are not alone with this juggle- your words are encouraging!

  4. We play tag, especially since number three arrived. We kind of tolerate it through the week because we have to. Weekends are a different story..we are out there as a team of five. Shopping, swimming, beaching, eating, eating, eating and doing the incidental things like reading a book together or playing pairs. When DS#2 goes for a nap early afternoon, then we can indulge the other two in some serious ‘play’ and even DH has been known to get happy clay modelling or sewing cross stitch! (BASIC cross stitch for him!)Thank you for the post…I will show DH it..just to show that it happens to other families. Very reassuring.xxx

  5. This is such a good post. I desperately (really) need to take a step back and reflect (doesn’t help that I’m sick, too). Life is such a whirlwind sometimes, it’s good to get these little reminders that it’s normal and that the good times are just around the corner.Thanks for sharing.

  6. oh man, i feel this way all the time, you said it just the way it is! tag teaming is exactly what we do and at the end of the day, we forget how much we really like each other because we are so exhausted. need to keep reminding ourselves that a strong healthy marriage is the best gift to give our kids.

  7. Wow, I had almost forgotten how hard those days were. For our first three years as a family my husband worked third shift, it was like we were stuck in LadyHawke only seeing each other for brief moments at sunrise and sunset.I love your honesty about approaching family snags and trying to find a way to work them out. 🙂

  8. We have been working on this exact thing, but you put it so beautifully I have to show this to S. Thank you for putting into words something so many of us are faced with.

  9. I can totally relate to this! I just gave birth to our second eight weeks ago and I just told my husband last night that I have been missing him b/c it feels like lately we are never really together. Thanks for sharing your thoughts- so encouraging to me!

    P.S. I just recently discovered your blog and am loving it!

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